Math is an exact science. Very black and white. There really isn’t a middle ground when it comes to solving equations. The formulas are static. One plus one always equals two. The answers are stable; unchanging.
Bound.
Life, though…
Life couldn’t be more different than anything you’ll find in a math class. Variables are constantly shifting. There aren’t any algorithms for calculating the outcomes of our decisions; no binary systems used for predicting the future. One and one isn’t always a pair. The answers, when we find them (or ifwe find them), waver and fluctuate.
When working on math homework, the more we see, the easier the question is to solve. We studied linear programming in my math class a few semesters back; for these problems, the x’s and y’s seem confused. But add constraints - add boundaries - and suddenly, solutions fall together like the pieces of a puzzle.
Apply those very same principles to people, however, and whatever you may have been searching for becomes fuzzier and much more difficult to comprehend.
As humans, we set goals and aim for dreams hoping that nothing gets in our way. Hoping that there’s a straight path between where we are and where we’re going.
Invariably, life throws in curves and bends and forks. And instead of the straight path we wished for, it’s a winding one. And we have fences to climb and walls to break down and ceilings to shatter.
And all the while, we long for open spaces and endless opportunity.
Boundaries, generally, are perceived negatively.
We don’t like being put into boxes.
In our minds, we see “constraint” as meaning “restraint.”
And nobody likes being restrained.
Nobody likes being held back.
In the four walls of a math classroom, you’re presented with this jumbled mess of facts and numbers and other information. And it’s complicated. But you break it down, piece by piece, and the answers are usually simple. There’s a clear start. You show your work and some of it may be smudged, but it’s readable. And there’s a definitive end; an obvious result - line drawn underneath, circled… highlighted too, if that’s your thing.
In life, we take away those four walls yet…we’re still presented with this jumbled mess of facts and numbers and other information. And it’s still complicated. And we break it down, piece by piece, and the answers are…still confusing, usually. Because it’s subjective. It’s personal. You’ll never meet two people with the exact same views or opinions or beliefs.
Math isn’t really open to interpretation.
Life, though…
Well, life is interpretation.
It all comes down to what you feel; what you think; what you see; and what you experience.
And the determining factor in all of it is, shocker, you.
Here’s the thing:
You can listen to all the wisdom you want, absorb all the time-weathered cliches. But things only start to make sense - really, truly click - when you can explain them to yourself in your own words. When you can clarify everything inside your own mind, using your own logic and rationale.
Example. No matter how many times someone tells me how hot any given bowl of salsa may be, I will not believe it is that spicy until there is smoke coming out of my ears because I scooped way too much of it onto a tortilla and into my mouth. And yes - it usually is that that spicy. But I only know it because I’m able to tell myself exactly why everyone was right.
Other truths I know now because I can explain them: You can’t miss what you never had and volleyball really isn’t very fun; heartbreaks fade, but it takes a lot longer than you’d expect. And by the time the hurt is gone, you really don’t care about it enough to notice; and, above all else, life is simpler than you think.
This last truth leads me to a statement I never thought I’d say.
Despite all the differences between life and math…
they’re actual quite comparable.
What?!
Here’s what I’ve explained to me.
Math, like life, is simple.
It only gets complicated if you think about it too much.
My challenge comprehending math a lot of the time probably stems less from my inability to perform the tasks and more from my ability to completely over-think everything.
Maybe that jumbled mess life presents us with works the very same way. If I stop thinking about the snags and the glitches here and there along the way and focus instead on the beauty that comes with spontaneity and unpredictability, then the confusion I may feel from time to time kind of…disappears.
I used to think that life was an intricate series of buttons and switches, levers and pulleys. The same with math. It was all guesswork, wasn’t it? And hoping you remembered the right formulas at the right times. And greater than and less than and add and subtract.
And just like in any math class, as time goes by, the problems don’t get fewer; in fact, they increase number.
But what I know now - because I can tell myself now - is that I can attend to these problems in a totally unique way. The way they present themselves to me takes on a different face, one I can categorize with ease. I can recall pi r squared and, hey, now I know the area of a circle.
Things are getting simple and it’s making life better.
In my college algebra class, I sometimes needed a notecard, though. And I guess life occasionally needs one, too. Here’s what I’d write on mine:
Every single person wants to be liked. We all want to be seen as smart and funny and attractive. And we hope, daily, that we don’t fail in that endeavor. We all seek attention and affection. When we are scared or embarrassed or hurt, we like to pretend we don’t care, even when we do. We want relationships - not so we can hear “I love you,” but so we can say “I love you.” And mean it. All of us hope that we’re needed and wanted. And it stings something awful when we feel unimportant. We want to ace the interview. We want to pass the test. We want to get the promotion. We want to earn the degree. We want to make money. And we want to spend that money, sometimes unwisely. We want time. We want adventure. And as much as we deny it, we want some form of stability. We long to be understood. We hate it when we open the fridge and the milk carton is empty. We want to prove our doubters wrong and prove our admirers right. We want good music and good writing, good food and good company. We’re all traveling through this life without a compass, so no one really knows where they’re going. It’s okay that we don’t know exactly where life is taking us.
And more than anything, we want love. In any and every form.
So I guess life is pretty simple after all :)
Even without methods and procedures and x’s and y’s.
Even without knowing the answers.
It’s simple. And it’s better.
And this is what I explained to myself today.
